Upcumming Hashes (for VCH3, H3SoB, and Santa Bastards/GHOTT)


*Santa Barbara Hash and Event Info can also be found at http://h3sob.com/


Santa Bastards/GHOTT Hash – The Big Lube-Owski Bastard Hash;
(WAS happening on Tuesday, 12 December at 6:15 p.m., but has been postponed.  New date and time will be announced in a few weeks)


Hares: Keys to the Titty & Seven Year Bitch

Cost: $6


Start: Lake Los Carneros Park, N Los Carneros Rd, Goleta, CA 93117 – Parking lot on left before Stow House

Start: Stow Grove Park // Corner or Cathedral Oaks Rd & N. La Patera Ln

December marks when Seven Year Bitch & Keys to the Titty were no longer blotches of cum or chunks of uterine lining. (Does a reference to the Vagina make you uncomfortable?) Get ready for the Big Lebowski themed split-birthday celebration shit show of a hash!! (Consider car-pooling or taking an UBER for this one).

Wear your Lube-Owski inspired attire.

Headlamps are highly recommended for this shitty, shitty trail.

There will be White Russians on trail, 4-5 beer checks, severed toes, OH! & Zodo’s is the On After! Need we say more? If we do, you’re obviously not a golfer.

H3SoB’s XXXTra Trashy XXXmas Pub Crawl; Saturday, 16 December at 2 p.m.
Start: Mel’s Cocktails: Homage to the best bar in Santa Barbara

209 W Carrillo St, Santa Barbara, California 93101
N95 Mask, festive cheer, shiggy socks, vessels, virgins, and your gayest apparel (think Snt Hrd jean shorts). Air quality is still pretty poor due to Thomas Fire so we will be walking to a few bars to hang out.

You can park at the Carrillo commuter lot and head to Mel’s. Start pitchers will be there for consumption but this hash will be a self funded pubcrawl where we will consume beer dressed in N95 masks and holiday cheer! Come be trashy with all your favorite H3SoB peeps


Hash #710 – 4th Anal Ugly Sweater/5th Anal Confused Holiday Hash; Saturday, 23 December at 1:30 p.m.

Finally, the only time of the year when it’s fashionable to be unfashionable has arrived! Dig out those hideous wearable rugs and join us for some hashed-up holiday spirit(s)! And the uglier, the better.

This year, Slurpee and Follows will be creating a hash trail, not a JUST A pub crawl as in years past. (But there will still be pubs!) Trail will be 3-ish miles in length.

We will be doing the White Elephant gift exchange thingy at the on-after, where you will also find a Festivus Pole for your grievance-airing pleasure. Egg nog will be on tap at on-in/circle (provided courtesy of Penis)

This is a TEST to see which wankers can follow directions (no sir not fucking likely)! The START of the hash is at the Traveler’s Cafe 1070 E Front St, Ventura. BUT (and that’s a BIG BUTT!) SPOILER ALERT- the hash will be ending at the “Secret Parking Lot” across the railroad tracks on the corner of Front St and Ash St. Park at the Secret Lot and then WALK the 2.5 blocks to the start at the Travelers Cafe. We’re giving you this insider information because there will be a White Elephant Gift Exchange at the end of trail and because we feel like being extra generous around the holidays. 😜

When: Saturday, 23 December – 1:30 SHOW (Hares away at 2:30)

Where: Travelers Cafe, 1070 E Front St, Ventura, CA 93001

(Park in Secret Parking Lot – see d’erections above)

Hash Cash: Free BEER & EGGNOG at On In/Circle! Pay as you go at each stop.

What to Bring: Ugly Christmas/Hanukkah/Festivus Sweater, Battery operated Christmas Lights, Santa Hat, Elf Ears, A white elephant gift, Head Lamps, ID, Vessel, Virgins, Visitors, and, for Festivus’ sake, your shittiest Grievances!

On-After: we’re leaving it up to the pack as we’ll have parenting responsibilities after circle (booooo we know!)

H3SoB’s Anal New Years’ Eve Pub Crawl!; Sunday, 31 December (start time TBD)
Details cumming soon!