What To Bring To Campout

Other than the obvious (tent, sleeping bag, soap, etc.), here’s a list of items you will want to bring along to the California Wet Dreaming Campout on June 30th:

  1. Outfit/makeup/whatever for Friday night’s Your Mama Says You’re Ugly tent pub crawl.  For some reason, a hillbilly theme comes to mind for me, but whatever you like.
  2. A dish for Friday night that serves at least 10.
  3. Outfit/props/whatever for “Star Whores” Shooting Star hash.
  4. Any alcoholic beverage other than beer that you may want to consume at campout.
  5. Extra water (plenty will be on hand, but it’s always nice to have some right there when you are dying of alcohol-induced dehydration).
  6. Cooler.  With your own ice.  Ice brought by your host (me) is off limits.
  7. Bathing suit.
  8. An inflatable or two for the swimming hole.
  9. Water guns/balloons/cheap condoms.
  10. Not-so-cheap condoms (love connections do happen at campout).
  11. Bug spray!  Mosquitos were in full force during my campsite visit earlier this month.
  12. Ideas on how to murder an entire colony of yellow jackets.  They weren’t present last year, but you never know.
  13. Camping chairs – you’ll be thankful you did.
  14. Headlamp/flashlight – for nighttime trips to the loo and such.  *Note: these are NOT permitted at the midnight hash Saturday night.
  15. Jacket – it can get pretty cold at night, and the decision whether or not to take a piss or suffer permanent bladder damage should never come up.
  16. Extra toilet paper.  This probably won’t be an issue, but being prepared in this regard may just cave your life.
  17. Soap and shampoo.  We will have a hot-water shower tent this year.
  18. And the obvious – vessels, whistles, and shiggy socks

I’ll update this list as I think of more necessities for you to pack.  If you have any great ideas to list, email them to hellopenismyoldfriend@gmail.com and I’ll consider them carefully.

On On!

Hello Penis My Old Friend

 

 

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